Myths and Facts Regarding Grief
Myth
The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.
Fact
Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real heal-ing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.
Myth
If you don’t cry. It means you aren’t sorry about the loss.
Fact
Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.
Myth
Grief should last about a year.
Fact
There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.
Excerpt from: Archdiocese of Boston Grief Workbook
“I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was the sad time That followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it To get to the other side. But I’m learning there is no other side. There is no pushing through. But rather, There is absorption. Adjustment. Acceptance. And grief is not something you complete, But rather, you endure. Grief is not a task to finish And move on, But an element of yourself, an alteration of your being. A new way of seeing. A new definition of self.” — Gwen Flowers
Effects of Grief
Physical
Exhaustion, muscle weakness, pain, restless, lack of energy, decreased sleep, anxiety
Emotional
Numbness, sadness, yearning, relief, guilt, anxiety, worry, fear, anger, trouble concentrating
Social
Withdrawal, isolation, detached, irritable, suspicious, disinterested These feelings are normal effects of grief. If you have additional symptoms such as suicidal ideation, high anxiety, severe depression, please contact your health professional.
Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life.” — Anne Roiphe
Suggestions for anxious moments
- Take a deep breath
- Move slowly
- Relax your face
- Massage your feet
- Take a warm bath
- Journal your feelings
- Sit in a quiet room
- Walk/Exercise
- Remind yourself of simple pleasures
- Talk with a friend